The Generations Are Coming Closer

I have 3 cousins (SA, S and A) and all of them have been 6-8 years younger to me. I some how always thought of them as kids, only to realize recenty that they are already in their late teens and early twenties. It wondered that this is almost the same feeling that I would have when Aryan will be 18 and I kind of had when Aryan celebrated his first birthday.

These little girls , may have never thought that I consider them almost like my kids , when we stayed tegther and discussed everything under the sun. I would help them with their studies and projects. They would come to me with their adoloscent doubts and I would tell them what I thought was good enough for them to know at that age. They used to talk to me about the boys (and girls ) in their class and when I laughed along with them , I also used to get surprised by how I already feel a generation gap between them and myself. I thought I knew too little of this and that when I was that young. I secretly worried about their well being and always tried to find out where they are heading.

I would somethings get too protective and sometimes too authorative unintentionally and would scold them like elders would do. I know that perhaps at those times they would have wondered why am I being so different. But they never argued and always obeyed.

I do not know why I am writing this today. Perhaps I just had a glimpse of how parents would feel when kids grow up to achieve something. Perhaps I realized today that I am getting old. Perhaps the generations are coming closer. Here is the blog of A , started recently. And I loved her work. And that is what initiated this flash back !

By the way , Do let me know , how is the new look of this page !

Editted to add :

Women at Work : The Never Ending Struggle

Why do women work ? Why did I chose to work ? It was not easy ? It's still not easy ? Why do I say so ? No , not because it's difficult to manage all.

Because our society has still not accepted a working women. People think that the primary task of women is not to work but to take care of the house and kids. I don't question and I don't deny. But I don't agree as well. Who is anyone to decide what's my primary task ? If I decide with my better half , its okay ? But why should anyone else ? And why can you not acknowledge that I can take care of my primary and secondary tasks equally well , with due credit to my better half for being on my side.

I started working when I was single in a mid-size well known company. I was different from others. Because I never stayed in office overnight. I used to work only during office hours. And they said that I am different because I am a woman. So you mean , finishing your work in time , not staying late , not taking breaks for smoking and ususally seen on your desk is a woman's characteritic. Well I always took that as a compliment , in case you don't know that. Yes I am different because I am a woman and I don't feel proud in staying back late in office even if I have nothing much to do after the office and I am staying in a hostel. You may though attribute it to my physical and social incapability.But then you don't have any right to say that unless you prove that I am working less than you do , in TRUE SENSE.

And then I got married. And I moved to a Internationally well known , so called BIG AND FAMOUS company. Did this change anything for me ? Yes it did ! Since I was married now , I was looked down upon with sympathy and sometimes with some artificial respect. Yes , I call it artificial , since I know that you don't really appreciate the effort I make , when I choose to work , but you still try to acknowledge that, with your artificially sweet smile. I want to tell you LOUD AND CLEAR that I don't want that. I want no extra respect and NO SYMPATHY AT ALL , just because I am a working woman. Thats my decision and I will cope up with that , as I would want to. When I am in the office, I leave back all the rest at home. I may have got up at 6.00 and struggled to make breakfast , I may have brushed my hair in the car , I may have to cook when I get back home , but this does not affect my productivity. But you will not know this. 'You' ,the bachelors , 'you' the married males , who do not have a working woman in your life and who feel its okay to leave your shoes and towel for your wife and to think that you have all the rights to sit and just watch TV after you get back home , and claim that you are tired after the day's work. AND ALSO 'you' the SINGLE FEMALES , who know that you will sooner or later end up into my shoes and will have to make choices , but then you wish to leverage what you have today by sympathizing with me.

And then I had kid. And people thought that its the end of my career. Why ? Unless I decide so , who are you to decide ? I know I have a challenge ahead , a bigger responsibility, but when I think that I can manage , why do you worry ? My kid is important, rather most important for me. I think of him day and night. About his well being , his growth , his successes , his failures , yes my life centers around him to a great extent. But why do you think I cannot think beyond him. Why do you sympathize with my physical capabilities of taking care of my kid, home and work. Why do you think I cannot talk beyond my kid and food? And I know nothing else about the world ? Why do you think my individuality no longer exist ? Why do you think that I cannot take up any challenging tasks ? Why do you give excuse of my kid , for not giving me an opportunity , when I never deny for taking up anything ? My kid , my home , my husband and my family is my strength. They motivate me to work. They, in no way hamper my productivity and efficiency. Yes , I still don't want to work late and on weekends , but you cannot question me unless I have slipped any deadlines.

The day I would feel that I cannot manage all , I would quit. So bear with me till then.Don't get sugary sweet with me , for I know the difference between real and fake. If you respect me at all , just DON'T THINK I AM AN ALIEN.


Editted to Add this quote , somehow speaks a part of what I wanted to say :
I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.
-Elayne Boosler

The love-link tag

~nm tagged me on this spread-the-love-tag.

Here's the info about the tag:The love-link tag. The Love-link Tag is another of those Linky Love game where you only have to tag 10 person in one post but still there is no actual limit (you can tag more if you want!). Once tagged, you have to copy paste the link in this post, and make them grow! Do not delete any of the links and be honest to yourself! Copy paste the link in this post, and make them grow!

BennyLiew, RamblingMoo, Mum & Kids In Wonderland, Judelittle, Our mini blogsphere, Rooms in My Heart, http://janiceng.blogspot.com/, ChinNee, Jo-N, LadyJava’s Lounge, Strange but True, Mariuca’s Perfume Gallery, Meet Uncle J-Uncle J, Farah, aNgRiAniWoRLd, How’s Life Bout, The Three Heroes, Ceedy, Veena, Vandita, Cuckoo,~nm,swati,

And I tag all the lovely bloggers I met during the Bangalore Blogger meet
Aargee
Poppin's Mom
Kiran
JLT
Mama Mia
COS
Compulsive Dreamer
Bangalore Mom

and to those I would love to meet the next time !

Pixie
Shruthi
Usha

Here's again to the Bangalore Bloggers !

I am an Advocating Realist

They said I am an Advocating Realist. NOW , Whats that ???

Here is where they tell that in detail.

Preserved this just for my own reference :-)

Compliment From Him!

What is the biggest compliment you have ever got about your blog ?

When I started blogging , my husband once read a few of my posts and told me that , I have good writing skills and he loves the flow in posts.

I thought it was BIG COMPLIMENT. Mind it I had ZERO readership then. His compliment was a BIG MOTIVATION for me then. And I continued writing. The husband would read some of my posts once in a week , from home , when he would have nothing much to do. I never prodded him to read more often as I knew that there are few husbands who actually read their wife's blog.

And then recently I noticed that he is reading that quite often. As in once in 2 days and sometimes even daily. And he discusses my posts and give special comments. So day before yesterday when he was looking at the map on the blog , I told him that I have a new reader right at home. And he asked "who ?" :-P I told him "you".

Guess what he said ?? He said "Yes , its really interesting." Period. I need no more compliments :-)

And yesterday evening he told me that he read my blog from office , when he was free for 30 minutes. And this is when he is REALLY busy these days and working late as well. So that was another compliment :-)

(NOW , thats a different story that he doesnot really read any blogs and so he does not really know the meaning of INTERESTING BLOGS ...good for me **wicked smile**)

Found this poem here, and its suits this day JUST PERFECTLY !

All my life you've been there

Any time and any where

When I was young

And even now that I am older.

I have always known

You've done the best you could

Circumstances change, lives change

But family ties are strong.

I want you to know how much

I respect what you have done

For me, for others,

And even for yourself.

When problems knock you down

You just slowly, steadily,adjust your shoulders

And then move on.

Many others would give up,

On love and on life, but you haven't.

You've continued,

Stronger, calmer, and with determination.

That's what you are,

strong, loving, caring, and dependable.

And yet still more

You are my mom.

And I love you.

Happy Birthday Mummy!!!!

And since I forgot to write about Papa's Birthday on 2nd, this one is for him :-)

Chiyya Tutu

I always try to ask Aryan about his day at the day care. Thats a different story that he had not been able to tell me much really,except for some nods to my questions.

Last week though ,I initiated the topic , when he was lying between both of us , just before the sleep. He told me a full story with full animation and eye movements. All I could get was "Chiyya","TuTu" and that he got hurt under his chin.

The next day I asked his Paati (Care Taker in day care) that did he break any toy yesterday. And I was amused to hear what she told me. She told me that Aryan and another kid were pulling a bird toy from both sides and the toy broke into two pieces and Aryan got hurt under his chin , due to the jerk. And that she made them say sorry to each other and do a hand shake.

So that was indeed our first communication where he gave me some feed back about his day at the day care. A milestone , I don't know if it is , but sure a big success and relief for me.

Now another aspect of the story that he has not been able to forget the incident. And everytime I talk to him about the day care , he ends up telling , "Chiyya Tutu" , meaning "Bird Broke". I am yet to figure out why is he not being able to forget the same.

Parenting is not easy , I tell you.

(This post has been written here as well , just the conversation part. The parenting blues come as part of "Whats on My Mind".)

Girlie Wisdom

*** My Favourites are in BOLD***

Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.

One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.

My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!

Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.

Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...'You know sometimes I forget to eat!' .....Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.

I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!

And We Met !

Yes, we met !!

Obsessive about puntuality and overwhelmed with excitement , I was the first one to reach. As I pressed the door bell , I was greeted by a lovely lady, with a beautiful warm smile. And then came the little one jumping around. Yes , Aargee's little bundle of joy. The house was neat and beautifully decorated. The lady had made proper arrangement for the entire gathering. As we sat and sipped our cold drinks. After about 15 minutes the door bell rang again and again. Soon there was a room full of energetic ladies , laughing and chatting in excitement.

As they entered , I figured out that how bad I was with my imaginations. Except for Abha , Kiran and Poppin's Mom (Since I had seen their pics) , I could not make out who is who.Poppin's Mom still does not look like a MTB , even in her 7th month , unless you know the fact and focus on her tummy. Kiran should not be believed when she talks about her double chin and her tummy. JLT looks like directly from school and you need to be shocked when she tells you that she has a four year son. She was as bubbly as she sounds on phone with a magical voice. Mama Mia is sweet, friendly and full of life. Aryan loved the book she got for him and also the cap. COS was calm and simple. And she resembles KT , okay vice versa :-D. Glad that she came exceot for all the problems with health. CD , who was new to the gang , made her self comfortable. She has a lovely smile and a familiar face. So familiar that each of us felt like she is a long lost sister :-) Bangalore Mom was so friendly and jolly that you would feel that you know her from ages.

We did not know that it was already past 2 hours before the lunch arrived. The lunch was yummy and we realized that we can still chat for an hour before we go. And so we did. So in all we chatted and chatted for 4 hours , about kids, schools, in laws, husbands, weight , maid, Bangalore and everthing under the sun. And it was the time when our husbands started calling , thinking that we might decide for a ladies night out , if they don't call us :D.

Hope to see you all again soon :)

What will happen when the virtual world will turn real ?

What will happen when the virtual world will turn real ? I always imagined how my blog friends look like. I always wondered that there might be one of those working in the same office or same office campus. There will be one of them staying in my own apartment or the next one.

Now I know their real names. Also where they work and stay. Within some time I will know them by faces. Will I be able to guess who is who. Ofcourse I saw one glimpse of Poppin's mom ( a pic) long back. I have heard JLT's voice 2-3 times. I have chatted with Bangalore Mom and Mama Mia. I have seen Kiran on TV. So I know they are real and not virtual. But the very idea of meeting them in reality , makes me excited. And its not just them , I will be meeting COS , Aargee and Compulsive Dreamer too.

Today I will have so many new friends in this city , where I have always missed having real life friends and family. Ohh..I cannot hold the excitement. Thank you all for inviting me. Will be there in some time :-)

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Whats worse ?
a. Not being aware of the health problems you are prone to ?
b. Being aware and not doing anything ?

2. Whats more stupid ?
a. Asking a silly question ?
b. Not asking any question, thinking that it might be silly ?
c. Hoping that someone will ask your question ?

3. Whats better when you travel in auto ?
a. Hiring with a fix amount , when you know that it is double the meter amount.
b. Hiring with meter + x extra , when you don't know how fast the meter might be.

Aryan, Identity and the Confusion

Prologue : My Parents have become internet savy recently. All they do is check their mails for Aryan's photographs and read Aryan Times.Yesterday evening I got a call from my parents.This is how the conversation went through."

Mom : "Tu bahut nalayak hai" (you are useless)

Me : "Kyo"

Mom : "Tune Aryan ke liye cycle khareed li , hume bataya bhi nahi" (you bought a cycle for Aryan and did not even tell us)***They wanted to buy him a cycle and I have been postponing that***

Me(confused) : "Maine , Nahi, Kab" (Me,No,When)

Mom : "Haan"

Me : "Nahi , aapko kisne bola" (No,who told you)

Mom : "Tune Aryan ki site par likha hai"(You wrote on Aryan's site)

Me(More confused, has someone hacked my blog, who wrote, when ) : "Nahi"

Mom : "Haan ,tetra cycle"

Me(Relaxed now) : "Nahi woh doosra Aryan hai" (No thats another Aryan)

Mom : "Nahi , woh Aryan ki site par aa raha tha"

Me : Sigh !!!

It took me a long time to explain them that they would have reached the other Aryan's blog by clicking at some of her's comment or her blog link on my blog.

Five kinds of blogs :-)

I have five kinds of blogs in my reader :

1. I jump to read them as soon I see a new post on my reader, (reasons are many, would say some other day).

2. I don't read them spontaneously , but I love reading them and I catch up with them as soon as I get time.

3. Though they are nice, I read them, when I have nothing else to read (many reasons here as well).

4. I read once in months , though I would love to read them often but I don't find time :)

5. Need based reading on travel and food blogs.

Now keep guessing , which one of them are you ;-)

BhoothNath is okay for kids ????

Do you think movies like Bhooth Nath are meant for kids and should be shown to kids ???
My answer is NO
Reasons :
1. We do not know ghost exists or not. How can we burden small minds with questions which even great scientists have not been able to answer to satisfaction.
2. Even if they do (if you say so) , I don't think its wise to tell the kids that people who die would still be around in the form of ghosts.
3. I do not think we should tell our kids to find friends or help from supernatural powers.

Okay , so what there are so many movies made on super natural powers.

1. Yeah , And we need to find the content before we allow our kids to see them.
2. In most of those movies we can tell them that the super natural power is fictional , while here the Grand father comes back as ghost.

Sorry about the previous post ..taken it off...thanks for checking Pixie...I am better

I am feeling horrible..I want to rant and cry. I want to shout. Dont ask me why. I cannot tell you . Since this blog is not anon.And I do not believe in talking about certain issues of my life to everyone. But still I want to rant. I am feeling incapable for anything and everything. Do not comment on this post , do not sympathize or ask why.

On second thoughts , perhaps i am good for nothing or perhaps i dont know what is my problem , what i want from life and people around or perhaps i am insane and i need a physco...i dont know.

Suicides And Kids

Last sunday my maid (V) was on leave for some puja at her place. Actually she promised that she would come in the evening after the pooja , but she did not turn up. The next day when she came, I was angry , not because she took leave but because she did not inform me about that. So when I was talking to her about that she just said , "Sorry Amma". And when I said a word further she said that please don't say anything to me Amma. So I kept shut , thinking that she might be too tired or upset about something and anyways me shouting now would do no good.
But wednesday morning again she tells my husband that she will not come on thursday. My husband tried a lot , convincing her to come , telling her that it gets tough for her when she takes leaves and that this will be her 3rd leave in this month. But all in vain , she just kept saying that she has some work and she will not take leaves that often again. So he left it at that.

Some time later I politely asked her , what was that she is upset about or is she not well. The reason she told after much prodding , left me without words.She said that her brother's daughter has commited suicide by jumbing into the well 3 days back. The reason was that she failed in her 10th exam. She said that she wants to visit them and has not been able to go for 3 days.
I was too shocked. Why do the kids take such extreme steps. Till now we have been hearing this in urban areas , but now even in rural areas. Good part is that the kids getting aware of the need to be educated. But worse is the fact that these sucides are not because they are worried of their future , but becasue they are worried of the social pressures. What will my parents say ? What will everyone think ?

My maid said that the girl left the world , but she did not thing what will the family go through and how will we feel. I agree with her. People who comit sucide , run away from their pressures but they leave their loved ones to answer so many questions by the society. Parents , who have loved us all their lives , how can we ditch them like that. How can we just escape , leave our parents in all their sorrow to be looked down upon by the entire world.

I felt horrible the entire day. This lady V lost her 17 year old son last year. His death has been a mistery as he was found dead in a well after he was missing for 2 days. People suspected a suicide or an accident. Her only kid now is her 13 years old daugther D, who studies in the same village (stays with her grandmom there ) and will be doing her 10th next year.V wants her daughter to get educated, unlike her and this is what she told me when this girl passed 9th. But V doesnot want to leave D in the village now. Worse is that D has been there since childhood and doesnot want to come back. So V has no choice.

I could feel the pain and the scare in her words. Fear of loosing her only daughter , whom she loves like anything. Why can the kids not understand that their parents love them irrespective of their failure or success. Why do they not understand that running away from a problem is not a solution. Rather it brings immense sorrow and so many problems for our loved ones.

What's in my Bag

~NM tagged me for this one and here I go :

2-3 Lipsticks

1 Bindi strip

1 Comb

1 polythene bag

1-2 SN

My Id Card

My Office keys

My Home Keys

A Diary

A pack of face tissues

Mobile Hands Free

Mobile Charger (sometimes)

Umbrella (Usually, since it rains right at 6 P.M in Bangalore)

Some safety pins

Money ofcourse which includes lots of 10's and coins for Auto Wallas

A small card holder for credit /debit cards

A hair clip

So you know , my bag is "Bhanumati ka Pitara" in true sense , but then thats are ladies handbags for :P Good part is all the things are sorted in different pockets for ease of use.

I tag Mama Mia and JLT for this.

What Parenthood Do to People...

All the mothers and fathers to be , read along and you will know what parenthood do to man and woman:

On the way to Aryan's day care , there is an old locality , where you can see lot of stray animals , as in dogs and cows. So yesterday while we were driving back from office through that locality ,to pick up Aryan , we saw a man taking a pair of cows with pointed big horns. I was thinking , if we would have picked up Aryan already , he would have been thrilled to see the cows , especially with those big horns. Right then , Anupam said ,"Ohho, we are late , else would have shown the cows to Aryan." And I broke into laughter, saying that it was exactly what was on my mind. And Anupam replied , "Kya kare ab bache ko cow dekhna pasand hai na.." and laughed along.

Pug says ..Very Cute Video

My Amusing Mind.. As It Wanders

Today morning , while I was travelling in auto , the stopped at a red light. Next to the auto was a big red AC volvo bus.The auto driver touched the bus and looked at it with some sort of admiration. That action of his initiated a series of thoughts in my amusing mind , as follows.

Why did he do so ? May be he dreams to drive the bus some day , a big AC bus. Or may be he wants to sit in the bus and enjoy the AC. A dust free peaceful ride. Will his dream ever come true. He might have never experienced AC. He might never will. I will pray he will. Actually I will pray that every man and woman should experience all they aspire atleast for day. That there should be at least one day in everyone's life when they feel that I want no more and this is the best I ever wanted. That day may not be same for everyone , but just one day.

And then that led to a different set of thoughts all together , like, what will happen if my prayer will come true. Will it create more problems ? Will be people be more unhappy after that day ? Can there be such a day actually , when humans can say , I am happiest on earth today , there can be nothing more I can wish for myself.

I could have continued with the thought process forever, but then the destination arrived and I payed the amount due and walked into my office.

Editted to Add : After reading the comments I would like to say that the post was just a spontaneous thought flow triggered by the auto driver's action. I agree that happiness is just a perception , I also agree that being content hampers growth sometimes , but all I wished for was EVERYONE getting a day (just a day),when one feels like a king , for example if I ever wished to be the CEO of my company and thought that is the best that could happen to me in this life , let me be the CEO for one day and live my life to full.
As its said :
"Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length." - Robert Frost

A BAD Day Out

Since the time we went for a day out with Aryan in February and Aryan just loved it , we were looking for another day out. Since we had nothing much for this saturday , I went hunting for a near by resort early in the morning over the web. I found one , a well known group of south India and quite near by. I called them up and asked for the details.

And so I packed Parantha and sandwitches for Aryan and some fruits and cold drinks for us , to nibble. Made a quick mango shake and garlic bread for breakfast , before Aryan woke up. As soon as he woke up , we all got ready and started off. The plan was to meet a friend on the way to see their newly born princess and then head towards the resort for lunch. Stay back for High tea and then return back.

All went well, till we reach the resort. The newly born little princess was too cute ( as babies always are) and Aryan was amused to see such small baby.We reached the resort , right at lunch time. But it was way too hot for a day out.

When we reached there, and told them that we have come out for their day out package and that we spoke to a lady in the morning. I was asked , as to how much were the charges told to me. The dumb me told them all the details and we were asked to have food first. The food was not as rich and good as expected. Soon after the food we were charged the full amount for the day out.

Then we headed to explore the resort. To our surprise the swimming pool was too dirty for humans. There were no shady green areas to sit and play. The sun was bad and I was cursing myself to choose a wrong day and a wrong place. We again headed to the reception to complain about the pool. Now there was a lady and when we asked for the charges of day out package we were told 150 RS less per person than what we were actually charged :O

I got quite furious at the whole thing and demaned them to show me a written tarrif plan. Which was not there obviously!

So soon they called their boss , who apologized (though he did not tell why we were charged extra!!) for the pool to be dirty. He told that it was due to the rains and storm last night (well , I wanted to tell him that rains were 3 days back!) and that he was not aware of the pool being dirty (Thats your administration :P). We told him that we would like our money back except for the lunch. They returned us the rest of the money. Though I still wanted to tell him , to show me the written document for the amount they charged for lunch buffet and that the buffet was just half the price, I just left it there.

We headed towards home , and the AC in the car seemed so heavenly with Aryan sleeping in my lap.

P.S : Can anyone suggest me tried and tested day out destinations in Bangalore please?

Healthy and Tasty

Quite recently I started another blog , "Healthy and Tasty". This one is a food blog for kids. The idea is to have an encyclopedia of healthy , tasty and quick recipes for kids of all ages. Adults may use them too :D

I invite everyone else to join the party too. Come share your recipes and try everyone else's. Leave your tips too. Together we will make food tastier :-D for our kids ;-) *And for us too :-D *