Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Are we killing their Childhood , Their Freedom ?

Apart from school , he goes to a skating class everyday.Then on Mondays he has an Abascus and a drawing class.On Wednesdays and Fridays he has Music classes. Thats the weekly schedule for a 10 year old.And they plan to start his French and German classes soon , as soon as they find a good teacher. Since they think he still has some bandwidth on Tuesdays and Thursdays and weekends ofcourse.

A conversation with the mother today made me ponder.Is it right ? She said , this is the best age to learn and I agree. But at the same time this is the only age to enjoy.She said she wants him to be the best and survive the competetion ahead.Its true that I wish my son to be a master of all but then I guess this is over kill. Should they not have sometime of their own. Just play with whatever they like.Enjoy the innocence of their childhood ,feel the world around and find happiness and joy with simple things.Skating is enjoyable , but then not if its compulsary to do it everyday.You will master it but in the process you may loose the fun of it.Schools these days have lot of extra curricular activities and I don't mind extra classes for 1-2 skills during weekends , but I guess I am not pro about this over burden.

I did wrote about this some time back too.If my kid is extra passionate about music /drawing or whatever , I would go an extra mile for him to master that.But is it okay to force him for a french class just because I wish him to learn that at the age of 10.I thought this is the only age when you have freedom to live , sleep , eat and play and when we had that , how could be take that away from our kids ?

What Books for my Kid ?

Kiran's post inspired me for this one.Why are our kids not reading Amar Chitra Kathas? Or for that matter any Indian literature.I remember reading Amar Chitr kathas and Stories from Ramayana and Mahabharatha apart from Champak , Nandan , Chandamamma and some russian story books.I noticed with friends and relatives that kids today are not given any indian books to read and I truly don't understand the reason.I have no inhibitions against other books , and they can be reading them all.But don't you think our books brings them closer to our history , our mythology and our culture. Okay, I agree we have some fairy tales in our mythology and there can be a debate about all that being true/false , but anyways they are reading Harry Potter , so whats wrong with Hanuman ? Indian books brings them closer to our values and morals in simple Indian setup which they can relate to and visualize. With due respect to other literature , I think we have a great literature for our kids and we can be proud of that.But on the contrary , some of my counter parts , don't think its worth.Or shall I say , its something to do with our ego and status.We feel proud if our kid can talk about all the famous international characters and toons on TV and its kind of down market to talk about ACK ? Will my kid be out of place , if he reads more/equal number of Indian books vs others ?

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

How do we protect our kids ?

I know it was never easy to raise kids and especially , well mannered ,well educated ,confident,independent and cultured kids with strong moral values.But is it not becoming increasingly difficult with each passing day or may be I have realized it now , after being a mom.Oh I know the topic is not new, we all have read and thought about it so many times before , mad momma did a post too, but this has been haunting my mind from quite a few days and I wish pen down my thoughts.

How do we protect our kids from the society ? We can spend money to educate them in whatever fields , but how do we educate them about the dangers from human predators ? And at what age ? With incidents like Nithari (which is not the only one of its kinds) and like the ones mentioned by mad momma and Trishna , no age seems to be early.I don't have a daughter yet and I know these thoughts will haunt more after I have one , but then with this inhuman frustrated society , I guess I would need to educate my son too.

Yes, no one did educated us and yet we survived.But then many of us still carry certain black spots in our personality.Certain memories still haunt.Each one of us have faced eve teasing and harrasments from known/unknowns.There may have been times when we could hardly realize what we went through and later in life , there may have been times when we felt frustrated and yet helpless.Some of us may have shared things with our parents/friends/life partners while others would have carried it all the way in our hearts.Should our kids go through the same or can we do something to make their lives better.

Kids of this generation are learning early but thats what our parents thought about us too.Yet we faced what we did.Learning early has both advantages and disadvantages.Half the knowledge is even more dangerous.One of my friend shared this article today and perhaps that is why I am doing this post today.Even if we educate them against the frustated predators , how do we educate them (little later in life) about not making deadly mistakes.I am not going to discuss about whats right/wrong , we can have different opinions , but whatever it is , we cannot deny the need to educate our kids.How and when should we educate them ? And God forbid , what should be our reaction if we are one of the mothers from the article ?

These are some questions , I am struggling with. May be time will answer , as always. But then I hope it will not be late till then.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Judgemental ..oh yes !

Tagged. Am I judgemental ? Ohh yes I judge people over a lot of things and I am quite an intutive person.So I decide so many things based on my intutions and my judgement.

1. I judge people from their Eyes and Smiles ..I feel eyes and smiles can hardly lie. AND I have a good success record on this one.I get negatively judgemental about people who wear an artificial smile all the time.
2. I judge people by the tone of their voice and sometimes by the choice of their words too.
3. I am judgemental about the females who crib about their familes(Husbands/MIL/DIL or whoever) to anyone and everyone.
4. I am judgemental about people who are always praising everyone around and that too after drinking some syrupy sugar.Ahh..no one can be soo shweet 24/7. And one of them is my BOSS :)
5. I am judgemental about the guys who envy their female colleagues for they finish their work in time and are hardly seen in office after working hours.
6. I am judgemental about colleagues who always say that they are too busy for a coffee / lunch.
7. I am judgemental about people who can never reach anywhere in time. Ohh, you need not be punchual always , but once in a while please ..:)
8. I was judgemental about my friends in college who would study day and night and yet would complain about no prepartion.
9. I get judgemental about people who are always complaining about something or the other.
10.I get judgemental about people who talk too much and more about those who talk about only them and theirs.

Well , thats my list and I don't think I am unreasonale ..do you think so ? So lets have a list from a few more , I tag Sunita, utbt , Asha and Trishna.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Happy Birthday to Dear ARYAN !!

Happy Birthday to Dear ARYAN !!!

Friday, July 20, 2007

Imaginations Turn To Reality

This is what I had in my room , when I was expecting.My imagination and my feelings on a piece of paper and he turned out so much like what I thought :-)

My precious little baby
I have loved you from the start
You are a tiny miracle
Laying closely to my heart
Each day I feel your presence
Each day you quickly grow
Each day your heart beats softly
As only I could know
So I'll keep this in a special place
And remember each year through
Of this very special time of life
The months I carried you!!

Running errands and talking on the phone,
I am pleasantly reminded that I am not alone.
Little tiny hands a precious rounded knee
pushing and twisting that no one can see.
Oh sweet child kicking up your heels,
it is our little secret that only I can feel.
I look forward to your birth,
when I can kiss your skin,
but for now I will just smile,
As I feel you play within.

The Story of Aryan's Birth - 1 year ago

I wanted to do this as a journal entry on Aryan's website about an year ago..but with a young baby, I missed that. May be today is the best day to recall ,the maximum I can , and do Aryan's Birth story..so here it goes.

20th July, last year was like any other day in 3rd trimester of pregnancy.I went for my daily walk with Mummy.Like any other day I was wondering , when is baby planning to come.In fact I was getting restless day by day.Most of my friends due in july had already delivered.I had slight pain in pelvic area , but I did not take that seriously.Since my BH were getting severe every day now , I assumed my restless and pain to be some part of rehearsal .. :-) That day I could not sleep nicely ..but that was not very different..:-)...most of my days were similar. The difference was my urge for restroom trips was more frequent and I had pain in turning to sides.

Then it happenned... :-D. It was 5.45 am on 21st July when my water broke.I was wet and bleeding too. I woke up my husband saying that lets go to hospital.He called up doctor immediately and she also asked us to come to hospital as soon as possible.She pacified me not to worry.Some how I felt I was not as worried as I always thought i would be.Anupam woke up Mummy and we gave finishing touches to our already packed bags.I brushed my teeth and got ready. No pains yet...:(

We reached labour suite.It was 7 in the morning.I was given a bed to lie down and wait.They had a word with my doctor and i was given induction through a gel at 7.40 am. The doctor on duty told me that cervix is too posterior and she could not touch that.I was made to lie down and wait for pain.Meanwhile I was given idlis for breakfast.At about 9.30 I started getting some contractions.They were about 10 mins apart but not regular.I was getting 3-4 contractions and then there was a lull period , when I used to relax.At around 11.00 am I was getting contractions taht were 3-5 mins apart but still they were not regular and there was still a lull period after 4-5 contractions.The doctor asked a nurse to time my contractions.She placed her hand on my tummy and said that the pain I am getting are not contractions.My uterus should tighten while I get contractions and I should feel the pain in the entire stomach and not just lower abdomen and back.I was not feeling any tightening and there was no pain in upper part of tummy. It was a so demoralizing for me.Afetr some time I had a chance to speak to the doctor on duty and I asked her if what I was feeling are contractions ? she smiled at me and said ofcourse though they are not good enough.I thought , is it because i am not shouting loud , they feel so ? Though my lower back and lower abdomen paine like hell,I was trying hard not to shout.Thats because my mother in law told me that shouting will not help me and I thought she was right .I was already feeling very thirsty and I thought shouting and crying will make me dehydrated and I will loose my energy.I was feeling sleepy between the contractions.I tried hard not to sleep and concentrated on the gossiping going on between nurses doctors , nurses as well as 2 other patients and their attendents .. :-) Meanwhile they allowed me to meet my mother in law at about every 2 hours.

At about 2 pm my doctor came.She examined me and said that I am dilated between 1-2 cms.My cervix is still posterior and she thinks I will deliver only till night.She inserted a pill to improve contractions.After she left , I was wondering , perhaps pregnancy is the only thing where both patients and doctors are waiting for pain to aggravate intead of soothing that.I had my lunch.I was getting juices every 2 hours which I was not feeling like drinking.All I wanted was water.I was asking for water every 15 mins.Pain was getting severe.I was murmuring "OM" or "Please God Help me" or "I know i can do it" kind of phrases.I wanted someone to massage by back.i felt that my back will tear off.My husband and mother in law was around to comfort me.They gave me enema ,to ease my urge to pass.

At about 6 pm the resident doctor examined me and said that I am only 3-4 cms dilated and its going to take a long time.At 6.30 my Gynae came back and based on the resident doctor's examination ,she said that she will come back to see me at 9.00 pm.Time was passing really slow.I was feeling strong urge to go to rest rooms which was ignored by the resident doctor.She told me that it was because baby was pushing.At 9.30 pm there was no sign of my Gyane.Now I lost all my patience and told the dc , please let me know if the doctor is going to come at all.I started begging them to call the doctor.I told them that I have a strong urge to pass motion and I cannot hold any longer.The resident doctor then examined me at about 9.45 and she was almost shocked.She said "Ohh My GOD ..Baby is Here ..She is Completely Dialated , shift her soon ,else she will deliver in 10 minutes"( I was supposedto be shifted to a suite at 6-7 cms dilation , where I would deliver).There was panic, someone was rushing for wheel chair , someone was calling doctor , someone was calling my husband.I was in shock and surprise.Within 15 minutes I was in the suite and my doctor just came running (in Anupam's language , she appeared like God).All the preparations went in super fast manner.The doctor asked me to push and Anupam and MIL were with me. At 10.35 pm on 21st July 2006 Aryan was born. The 16 hours of pain , turned into a sweet little baby.

The doctor showed me the baby and I did not know , how to react.I was just blank.I looked at the baby and gave a customary kiss on the forehead.It was only after an hour when I actually took the baby in my lap.After another hour , I was happily nurturing my sweet heart.

That night I slept for just 2 hours , that too in two shifts.Not because Aryan did not let me sleep (rather he slept for 5 hours at a stretch) but may be because I was too excited to sleep.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

In memory of Cheeku

This post is in memory of Cheeku,our dog.He was with us for about 7 years. During early 90's we brought him home.He was one of the puppies from our Tauji's dogs.We used to celebrate his home coming as his birthday(18 Dec). He was named cheeku by me and my brother (considering the famous character , rabbit from Champak and the puppy's rabbit colour). He was a mix breed pomarian.So, he was not very hairy and short.On the other hand, he was tall for his breed.

Seven years is quite a long time. He was more than a family and my parents loved him as their baby. My brother used to tease Mummy that she loves Cheeku more than us.Though my parents were always concerned about hygine issues with dogs , and due to which , he was not allowed on beds and sofa , he had his own bed and matress.He would eat whatever we did. And he was always a healthy and active dog.

We used to tease him with mock fights and he would priortise his gang with mummy and then me. Sometimes mummy papa would go out to markets and my brother to his friends.Cheeku and I would stay at home and he would wail to go with them.I used to consol him by saying , you are here to give me company and he would happily sit on the floor , next to my bed/chair.He loved kids like anything.He allowed the neighbour's 2 years daughter to do anything with him or his things and he would never bark at her and never let anyone to bother her.

In March 1999 was my cousin sister's wedding and being the first wedding in family we were all excited and hyper active.On Feb 13th , my parents went for shopping and as they opened the gate Cheeku went outside.All of us failed to notice that. After some time , I realized that he was not at home.I called my brother , from play ground and he went searching for him. My parents also tried to search him all around the city after they came back(could not inform them , no mobile in those days).But he was no where.He could definitely found his way back , but someone might have kidnapped him.For days we searched for him.Then we left for the wedding. All through , we thought , if he would come back , escaping from the kidnapper.For years , whenever we saw any similiar dog , we would try calling him as Cheeku. But, we could never find him.

We have had dogs before and after Cheeku, but Cheeku was with us for longest and he is simply unforgettable. Some how , I sometimes blame myself for letting him go.I just hope , that whoever took him , kept him with love and care and he did not miss us for rest of his life.Considering a dog's age , he may not be any more now.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Tagged : For Books by Indian Authors

Tagged by Poppin For Books by Indian Authors ..Ohh..Books ..yeah I used to read ,quite often , anything and everything , but now its a forgotten hobby and as always I can blame this one too on lack of time after marriage and after kid.

But then , Let me pass on the tag , with a small list.

Choker Bali by Tagore :A widow with nothing to lose seduces her friend's husband in colonial 19th century Bengali society. Yes, I did read it from cover to cover.
One Night at the Call Center and Five Point Someone by Chetan Bhagat : Good time pass reads , especially when you are pregnant in third trimester and wish to think beyond the baby making process.
Ignited Minds : A highly motivational book by APJ Kalam.
The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari by Robin Sharma : A Fable About Fulfilling Your Dreams & Reaching Your Destiny. Still to complete this one.

And yes , Could I mention my childhood favourites Champak and Nandan and not to forget Chacha Chaudhary (you know, I am in that mood today , if you have read my previous post).I read them religiously for years.. :-)

And I pass this on to Asha, NM, Noon, WhatsInAName, Kodimeow and SM.
Editted to add : Manasi in the list , coz I know she is an ardent reader , so her list should be interesting.. :)

Woh Kagaj Ki Kashti...Of my Childhood

Remember the song by Jagjit Singh.I am sure you do , if you are a Gazal lover.This is one of my favourite gazals ever.Two reasons ,the words which brings nostalgia and memories and jagjit singh ofcourse.Some of my favourite lines followed by some memories :

kadii dhuup mein apane ghar se nikalanaa,
vo chidiyaa vo bulabul vo titalii pakadanaa,
vo gudiyaa kii shaadii mein ladanaa jhagadanaa,
vo jhuulon se giranaa vo gir ke sambhalanaa,
vo piital ke chhallon ke pyaare se tohafe,
vo tuutii hui chuudiyon kii nishaanii.

Our ancestral house was kind of a farm.We had a tubewell , lot of trees , some agricultural land,a dried pond,2 wells and a small house in the center. Though my father worked in a different city ,we lived there for 4 years in early childhood.Later also, we would travel to our grand parents in every possible small vacation and 2 months of summer vacations.I and my brother loved it there.Though the place was very much in the city , still we used to call it as our village.During summers even the other cousins joined us there and it used to be fun.

The tubewell was used to irrigate the lands and we used to utilize it for water play and bath. It was so much fun to follow the paper boats to the lands.We used to hide behind the walls , to see the squirrels closely and would immitate the ways she ate.Inthe afternoons , elders would sit under the trees(as you know , power cuts made it difficult to sit inside) and we would chase the butterflies.Climb up the fruit trees and fight over raw and ripe fruits.Make utensils from leaves.Collect broken glass bangles and make designs from them.Loved watching frogs and tadpoles when it rained.

At nights , we used to sleep under the moon (power cuts and the nice breeze) and watching the stars(sometimes counting too !!) and identifying constellations were my favourite pass times.Ohh how can I forget the competition of who catches the fire fly first!!

Ohh..I am lost ..stuck with words..Will leave here with few more of my favourite lines ...

bhulaae nahiin bhuul sakataa hai koi,
vo chhotii sii raaten vo lambii kahaanii .

Friday, July 13, 2007

Of Blogging and Confessions

I was giving a thought to it.Its been 3.5 months since I have been blogging.It started of , with penning down my thoughts anonymous.I was hardly bothered if anyone reads it or not.

But quite soon , I shared it with a few, whose opinion mattered to me.Then some strangers peeped in. People started writing their views about my thoughts.And I realized its good to give a second thought in light of what others have to say.I noticed that I mostly write about Aryan and his day care and things related to parenting.In fact quite soon , I started another blog , dedicated to Aryan's activities and pictures.

But then, I have also done a whole lot of introspection on this blog.Confessions made to strangers , from my own posts and also by commenting on others (sometimes anon).I realized thats its easy to confess to strangers , who do not know you personally.Since you are hardly bothered , of what they will think of you.No matter what , we always want our friends and relatives to think good about us.Well , we do want the same from strangers , but then that hardly matters.

There is another 'feel good' factor about blogging.We mostly write , coz we want to talk or to be heard.So finding a comment in your post makes you feel heard. Though we all have family/partner to talk, but then with a life of today, do we actually spend some time hearing each other.When we talk, we talk about family , parents , relatives , kids, boss , job and everything else.But rarely about how do you feel today ? (except for when we are in real bad mood) or whats on your mind today ?Blogging gives me a chance to say it loud and clear , all my woes , my worries , my dreams , my joys ,my thoughts ..everything said loud to strangers and yes ! to my husband and a few close friends and relatives (since I do not write anon).

Next, is the thought about writing anon..Poppin and many others have done post on why do they write anon.They said that they can say anything and everything if they write anon and not otherwise. Some of them have shared it with their husbands and some of them with no one. They have a point and I do agree. I cannot be writing about a few things coz the blog is not anon.But I found I have been writing about many things inspite of the fact , for one, no one really bothers to read except the regular bloggers and second I can seek opinions from people who matter to me and I do not get time to speak one to one(sometimes I pester them to read some of my post..:D).But yes , I do yearn to blabber certain things sometimes and I know I cannot , on this blog.I have blabbered about some by commenting anon , somewhere to strangers again.

So, I wonder that may be I am here for long and may be I will start another one some fine day , which will only be for strangers..:)

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Its High Time Swati !!!!

A few adjectives about today's Swati..short-tempered, irritated,lazy,tired,worn out. Yeah ..thats me. I do not know why I am getting increasingly short tempered and I am always irritated.

I have got the most loving family in the world.My husband is a sweet heart and he loves me more than I can expect.He cares for me and helps me with daily chores.He respects me as a person and is concerned about my health and career. Can I wife ask more ?

My son , one year old , cutest baby in the world (you know ..mum's will be mum's).Can a Mum ask for more ?

My parents , love me so much and my mom calls me daily to ask my well being.Can a daughter ask for more ?

I have got a decent job and they pay me well for what I do and I have hardly worked late or on weekends. Can an Employee ask for more ?

So why the hell I am so irritated and short tempered. If only, I knew the answer.But after reading SM sometime back I felt may be I am not the only one. Probably I felt she could read and write my mind out.

Now , my little Aryan is growing up and next week , he will be One ! Though I never liked myself for my behaviour , but last week I realized that its high time , I should something about it.I was as usual irritated and shouted at my dear husband ,when Betu was in my lap.Aryan looks at my angry face and asks me .."uuh ?"(All his questions are "uuh ?", in a typical questioning tone)I smiled at him , forcefully (coz ,I was still fuming) and he gave me a kiss after a kiss.His eyes were so concerned and he wanted to pacify me.Mad Momma wrote about this few days back , that we should watch our behaviour now and I realized it that day.

I know there are so many people who hate me for my behaviour ( like my maid) and so many who love me inspite of all (my parents and Anupam) and whom I have been taking for granted (I know I should not , hope its not yet late) but Aryan..will he grow up to hate his Mumma ? No, I will not be able to bear that.I should do something about myself.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Another milestone !

Day 2 (Thursday)
We decided that I should join for the drop even today.We kissed Aryan and said bye to him , before handing him over to the maid.We told him that we will come to pick him up and he can have fun till then.Told him not to cry and eat well.He did not cry while going to her and till he could see us.We heard him crying from inside though.

I called around 11.30 and she told , he was not crying and had morning snacks.She said all the morning he did not let anyone come near to him and cried when we took him to other kids.Then I called around 3.00, he has had his lunch.He slept for 1 hour in the morning and 2 hours in evening.Paati said that he was quiet but wanted to be alone.Evening he started little bit crawling in his room though.I told her that he might be scared of too many people and asked her to leave him with 2-3 kids.It worked and she told that he loved observing them.Anupam picked him up around 5.30 and he told Aryan was crawling in the room when he reached.

Day 3 (Friday)
Anupam dropped him to the place and I said a bye to him , before I got down for my office.He cried while going to the maid.He ate usual.He crawled outside to the other room.He made friends with Paati and maids, but was still scared to go near the kids.He loved watching them from distance though.

Evening I decided to give a surprise visit and spend sometime there , playing with him.He could sense me as I stepped in.He was playing and the door was half shut , but as I stepped he turned around and cried for me.He was happy as soon as I took him in my arms.He smiled at everyone from my lap.But did not want me to sit there.Wanted to come back home.He looked for his papa , as he heard a car horn, who planned to pick us up after 30 minutes.So ,aryan and I roamed inside the place, talking to kids and maids and Paati.Idea was to make him feel at home.I could see that he was not scared of anyone.But was just not comfortable as there were so many kids.I made him play with another kid , but the other kid dominated as he was little older. Aryan greeted his Papa with a smile.

On the whole , it seems that things will be good very soon.Another milestone achieved for the baby and more importantly for the parents !!!

The D (Day Care) Day !

I know some of you would have checked the page for this post.I know, I should have posted this before. But I decided to keep shut for some time about the topic.You can say I was sitting with my fingers crossed.Did not want to be happy too soon.

So the story goes like this.We planned to take Aryan to the day care on the 'important monday' (as Manasi describes it) ,i.e, 2nd July.We started preparing Aryan mentally for the change from Saturday by letting him know that he is going to have loads of fun with kids of his age all day and get a long car ride to and fro. So he will not be bored when Mumma Papa are not around and so on. God only knows though if he understood.

Monday morning , after bath , when I put the diaper to him ..he asked me "uuh ?" as if "why diaper ?" (we dont use diaposable diapers at home) and I told him that he has to go to school from today.He started getting clingy and making noise ..as if saying .."nooo ..dont want to go" ..but no crying.

Though Anupam will be usually driving him there , I wanted to join on day 1 but Anupam was somehow not convinced about me going all the way in a different direction.Me on the other hand wanted to give all the info about by baby , first hand to the care taker.

Well , I did not go and Anupam and my Papa drove Aryan to the place. The Paati(as I would call the care taker from now) was delighted to see that my parents are still around and she adviced Anupam to come back after 2 days.She said that 2 kids are not well and Aryan might get infection , so not a good day to begin with.With all the anxities over the weekends , sleepless nights and horrible dreams , we were pissed off , since the begining we were waiting for, had been delayed by 2 days. Now , 2 more days of wait.

All that happens , happens for good. I was allowed to join anupam to the place on Wednesday,4th July.When we reached there the maid grabbed Aryan from Anupam and rushed inside , while I was taking out his bag from the car.I updated Paati with his supplies and his habits to my satisfaction.Gave her a list of supplies. In my anxiety I did not realize that I did not even bid a usual bye , to my baby.I realized that quite late while we were returning and this guilt bothered me the whole day.He would have felt ,Mumma did not even tell me , if she will return or not like she does every day.

That day , I guess we could hardly work in our offices. I called Paati around 11.00 and she told me that he is fine and crying a bit now and then and had a banana. Around 12.30 Anupam called her and she told that he had lunch but did not sleep , not crying though ,lying on his bed quietly ,sometimes talking to himself. Around 2.30 ,he was sleeping and she planned to give him milk after he woke up.I sobbed in satisfaction when I heard that.

We planned to pick him up around 4 and both of us reached there at 4.00.He could hear us from inside as we said 'Hi' to Paati and he cried.When I took him in my lap , he cried and complained.I did not know how to console him , infact I wanted to cry I guess.So I held him tight in my arms for 2 minutes and he was quiet. Then he went to his Papa and complained again for few seconds. Soon we were on the way home , with Aryan in my lap , smiling and singing.

Will write another post about the next few days.

P.S: We used car seat for first time on monday , and that went well too.He enjoyed sitting and having a view I guess and we kept a supply of wierd things to keep him busy.

Monday, July 9, 2007

To Hit or To Sit ?

A cousin with her 3 years old daughter, came for a sleepover this weekend.The little girl was so attracted to 'Chota Baby' and his toys.It so happened that all through the saturday , she kept on taking toys from Aryan's hands.Though there were enough toys around , somehow they both wanted to play with same one at a time.And so she being elder would take all from him and he could only wail.Her mother kept on telling her to take some other toys but..

Finally on saturday night Aryan lost patience.As she touched the toy , he was playing with , Aryan held her hand and moved that away.Now it was her turn to wail.Well , the episode was over but next morning , it was worse. As she tried to touch the toy in his hand , he literally grabbed her collar and pushed her hands away.NOW ..we were all like :O

I do not know ,how I should interpret the whole episode :

1. Aryan is growing up to be an angry young man,swatting the kids around ?
2. Since he has been alone kid since so long , he does not know the joy of sharing.We did told both the kids to play together but the little girl did not give in.
3. "Yes We should Speak up !!" Aryan waited patiently for one day ..but then he had to fight for his rights.

We say , our kids are as we make them. In the day care older kids snatch toys from him and he can only cry if he does not do the same.So do I let him cry or teach him to fight back ? And if he is taught to fight back there , then why not at home , just because the kids in question here are his cousins or our guests ?

I know we should let him handle his own fights and decide on his own( as I suggested WIAN too), but then Morals ..we have to give him morals , which will form the base of his decisions.
Parenting definitely is not easy..scratching my head.

Friday, July 6, 2007

What color are you ?

Found this pretty interesting. :)


You give your love and friendship unconditionally. You enjoy long, thoughtful conversations rich in philosophy and spirituality. You are very loyal and intuitive.

Find out your color at QuizMeme.com!

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Yes..We should speak up !!

Annie's post brings back some memories ..yes ..of Delhi and DTC and Blue Lines.So many of them, which trigger so many different emotions.May be I will write about some of the memories some day , but let me first talk about the issue raised by Annie.

I remember on one of those May evenings while I was returning from work, I took a bus from ISBT to Noida.It was a blue line and I was a regular customer , plus the bus used to start from there(first stop) and so I could easily get my regular , favourite ,window seat , one among the reserved ladies seat.The bus got crowded and then over-crowded as it moved just about 2-3 stops(office hours you see !) but I happily sat there, looking out from my window , at the vendors , the traffic and the people in the bus.Sometimes I used to be amused at the talks going around and sometimes disgusted but then that was my usual routine and I was hardly bothered.

As the bus reached Laxmi nagar, there was a very old lady standing at the bus stop.She proceeded for our bus , but decided against getting in , looking at the inner situation.

The conductor told her .."Aa jao Maaji"
The Old Lady : "Jagah nahi hai na"
Conductor : "Hai Maaji ..Aaa jao ..jagah dila doonga"

The lady struggled and somhow managed to get in.The conductor asked a guy on ladies seat to vacate but he payed least attention.The conductor did not asked again and got busy in getting in more people.Few ladies asked the man to vacate ladies seat , but in vain.The old lady requested conductor again for a seat and he says wait till next stop.Next stop was not far and all it brought was more people , pushing each other.The old lady stood helpless , when I got up and gave her my seat and I stood there between the two seats ..(as that was only space available).

The conductor looked at me ..well, I cannot tell if that was an expression of pity or admiration or was he laughing at me.He tells me "Madam kya kare ..jagah nahi hai" and I told him then why did he invite her in and in reply he tells me that he will soon get me a seat :P.A few minutes later the conductor offers me his seat .. :P I was so furious and just let him know that I am fine here.

I do not know , if we should have reserved ladies seats or not , though I always made use of the privelage given.(Yes.. I have forced some people to give me a seat at times..) But do we lack basic courtsey too. This post is not in self admiration , but then she was so old and skinny. She was not wanting to get into that over crowded bus , but trusted that conductor , who did not keep up the promise.He could have atleast given her his seat.The guy on the ladies seat..pity on him..have seen enough of those kinds who will give you a BIG LECTURE ..on why women want reservation ..when they talk about equality and all because of GIVING AWAY THEIR SEAT..but then she was his grand mom's age ..should he not have respected her. Forget about ladies seats and that guy , but others ? Pity on all the guys, who wispered about the issue , but none of them gave away their seats , nor did they requested the guy for his.Well , I would have also not given mine , looking at the condition of bus (and all the ladies out there in delhi would know , what it means for a girl in such a bus ), but then I could not resist , looking at the female. I cannot expect selflessness from people , we are all selfish , but then their should be a balance. Don't you think so ?

May be I am just revealing the obvious , that people who cannot fight for their rights , are not able to get their due.