A few adjectives about today's Swati..short-tempered, irritated,lazy,tired,worn out. Yeah ..thats me. I do not know why I am getting increasingly short tempered and I am always irritated.
I have got the most loving family in the world.My husband is a sweet heart and he loves me more than I can expect.He cares for me and helps me with daily chores.He respects me as a person and is concerned about my health and career. Can I wife ask more ?
My son , one year old , cutest baby in the world (you know ..mum's will be mum's).Can a Mum ask for more ?
My parents , love me so much and my mom calls me daily to ask my well being.Can a daughter ask for more ?
I have got a decent job and they pay me well for what I do and I have hardly worked late or on weekends. Can an Employee ask for more ?
So why the hell I am so irritated and short tempered. If only, I knew the answer.But after reading SM sometime back I felt may be I am not the only one. Probably I felt she could read and write my mind out.
Now , my little Aryan is growing up and next week , he will be One ! Though I never liked myself for my behaviour , but last week I realized that its high time , I should something about it.I was as usual irritated and shouted at my dear husband ,when Betu was in my lap.Aryan looks at my angry face and asks me .."uuh ?"(All his questions are "uuh ?", in a typical questioning tone)I smiled at him , forcefully (coz ,I was still fuming) and he gave me a kiss after a kiss.His eyes were so concerned and he wanted to pacify me.Mad Momma wrote about this few days back , that we should watch our behaviour now and I realized it that day.
I know there are so many people who hate me for my behaviour ( like my maid) and so many who love me inspite of all (my parents and Anupam) and whom I have been taking for granted (I know I should not , hope its not yet late) but Aryan..will he grow up to hate his Mumma ? No, I will not be able to bear that.I should do something about myself.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Its High Time Swati !!!!
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4 comments:
Its like you have read my mind and wrote it all! Its just exactly my story too!
If I knew how I could make it better I would have told you but...*sigh*
Anirudh also does things like these. Rather he used to. Now he will tell both me aned DH "Quiet! No shouting!" if we are fighting in raised voices! Sounds sweet to think about it now but then it doesn;t sound even s of sweet!
My daughter shriya became one yr last month and i am also a first time mother.Hubby helps me a lot and our love and respect for each other has increased.Sunday after noons,he lets me sleep and he takes care of her.I am seeing a new side of my hubby.As days move,life will be simple and easy.Dont shout at people who are not in a position to shout back at you.[as told to me by someone].
I am also working and it is tuff to manage everything.My mil changes my daughter's dress 5-6 times a day.And i have a huge load of clothes to wash in the morning.My sis in law also delivered at the same time.So there were 2 kids at home.So u can imagine my plight.All attention was on the new born and no one lifted my daughter also.So it has been a very bad yr for me even though i had a baby.And it has reflected on my daughter many times.But Life will move on and so shud we...isnt it??
Swati,
that post of mine elicited so many reactions from people who seemed to be mirror images 'me'. I feel that we in some way short change ourselves. Don't we have a lot on our plate-home, baby, work, guilt regarding the baby of working and guilt regarding the career if not working etc? And as we grow older,as a side effect of becoming more mature, we also become less tolerant. And that leads to the behavioural changes. That's just my theory. But after I wrote that post, I have made a concious effort to control my temper-I listen more than I react. I interospect more than I yell. But I have a long way to go.
As anon has said, life will move on and so shud we. And I am sure Aryan can see u love him to bits and whatever happens that love will remain unchanged. That's all that matters ultimately.
NM..Don't scare me more .. :(
Anon..Thanks for dropping by ..yes we should move on.
SM..I identify with your theory , but then thats life and we cannot burden others with our stess , will have to learn to cope up with it.
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