1. How to make him WALK, when we go out? Whenever we go out , he wants to be carried. Carried and that too , only by Mumma. I figured out that he gets scared on road by vehicles , but then he refuses to walk in Malls and supermarkets as well. If you want him to walk , it has to be a open and peaceful place , like a park :( Outings have become a pain for me due to this reason. I wish to go out and take him out over the weekends and end up with a frown and bad back ache.
2. How to form his potty habit ? The doctor , the MIL and the husband insist on making him do potty after morning milk. But he refuses to sit.
3. How to avoid the language confusion ? I did post on this long ago and the problem persists.
4. How to save my skin. Aryan bites and hits me at the smallest disagreement.
5. How to make him a bit less sensitive and a bit more social.He cries at the drop of a hat and takes a hell lot of time to mingle with people.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Parenting Woes
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14 comments:
ouch! those sound like my questions few months down the line!
maybe if you tell him that big boys sit on potty? that he will be going to school soon and he needs to learn it before that?
i guess he will become social when he is comfy. meanwhile just start conversation with random trangers involving him. we do that with kabir all the time!
when we refused to walk, my parents would just put us down and pretend to walk away. they let us throw and tantrum but didnt pick us up! i dunno if that can still work tho! :(
hugs to you woman!! :)
Hugs and more hugs...
I have no clue how to deal with all this and I'm waiting around to read what the others say as well..
But, just to make you feel better - I think its a phase and he will out grow it soon...
Oh and the hugs are there in plenty for support! :-)
For point number 1, I have no idea. For me, Aryan wants to walk in busy road and thus I have problems in managing Aryan in heavy traffic
Point number 2—Give him luke warm milk to instigate the potty. I give Aryan luke warm tea and as soon as I give him, he takes me to toilet and tell me to make him sit. He sits for some 5-10 minutes and then it is done. (Even I have sit) The day care people insisted not to wear diaper and thus whenever he has to do shoo shi he tells them and thus has a habit now. Thus for small outings I don’t put diaper.
Point number 3—No idea—I am in the same boat
Point Number 4—Give him back the same way. I did once when he pinched me and after that he never did it. But it doesn’t work with all kids. Please don’t misunderstand for this advice.
Point Number 5—No idea, same boat. Aryan cries if we don’t give him the biscuit of his choice and sometimes we don’t know to decode his mind. My hubby says the best is to ignore, but I have never implemented.
Oops need to go now..couldn't resist commenting
AM
Don't worry. Those things shall pass. Only to be replaced with new issues but still. Just keep telling him over and over again and slowly get him into the habit.
Regarding the hitting thing, kuttan does not hit me but plays very rough with his dad. His way of showing love, I guess.
And I don't know how to make kuttan more social as well. He is fine when someone comes home but when he goes to new surroundings he just clams up.
Well, what is parenting if not an endless list of questions? Enjoy!
Ah! the woes of parenting. My little guy just started with the bitting and pushing us away a couple of weeks ago. Is this the advent of the terrible twos, YES!!!
As for walking, my little guy is opposite - loves to be totally independent and run - so I need to try and hold him on parking lots. Its tough, but he slowly seems to get it.
Language confusion - dont worry, I have realized that he seems to able to understand us very well, any language you speak in. So like nm said continue with Hindi and at home and let him learn Tamil and Kannada outside (at his own pace)
Hi Swati,
No 1 -- I'm in the same boat..Sanya is also like that..Somedays she walks for 1 mile when we go to park ...somedays she wants to be carried...Maybe they get a better view when we carry them ..that's the reason ..I'm also having back issues..
No 2 -- No Idea..Somehow Sanya always do it after having her mrining milk...
No 3-- Don't worry about that..Kids are very smart and they pick languages very fast.At home we speak strictly hindi with Sanya..at her nanny's place they speak total Punjabi and she goes to playdates and classes ..there few kids speak English,few spanish...I have seen she is picking up all the four lang pretty well..and she now knows few common words in all the four lang...
4 --In the same boat..Sanya also gets very aggressive sometimes and bites me.
5 --Mostly its inherent nature of a person..Don't try too much..let him be how he is..
Swati :)
Its a passing phase. Walking and language problem will sort themselves with time. Being social is something they learn after they start schooling. Potty again, we need to keep our cool. Make him sit on it and keep repeating it everyday even if he doesnt sit.
And dont worry, all kids his age are just like him. They will learn with time :)
Till then dont frown and be happy
As a psychologist I can tell you one thing. The brain is the most malleable when up until 5 years of age. What that means is that human beings are capable of learning SEVERAL languages until they are 5 and then this capacity begins to diminish. What you may find is that your child may be confused when there are sudden shifts in language. Learning how to speak may also be delayed. But all this normal. And children usually adjust. So let him learn as much as he can. Don't worry too much!!
Swati, to all the points there is one clear answer:
Give him time...give him time...give him time....Give him time...Give him time..... :)
I am still going through the first problem. I'll write mor about it soon, hopefully with some positive results of my efforts right now.
Don't wory about the fifth one. It is surely strenous for you, carrying him. Is it possible to have something like a stroller there? That way he might feel secure.
Well, for the fourth point something needs to be done, but I have given you my advice already about it once... Be strict. He has been doing it since a while now, so for him it is almost like his right. I wonder if you tell him clearly that you do not like it and that it hurts. Find a solution for you which you could live with and tell him that the next time he does it that is going to be the consequence, what you have to decide. But, I admit, I myself don't know a clear solution. Keep doing what you are doing and , yes, give him time. He is a smart boy, he'll understand sooner than later.
If you figure out #5 let me know will ya?
Meanwhile:
1. Try an umbrella stroller
2. Make him sit fully clothed so he gets used to the potty, hand him a book and make it a fun time. Make note of when he is most likely to do potty. Mostly it is in the morning after milk, provided you give him time to run around a bit. Make him play and run right after milk, something abt running loosens the bowels I believe. When you see the signs, take him and seat him. If he will only do it in diaper, that's fine, keep the diaper on and still seat him. When he's done, empty the contents of the diaper to the commode and let him flush. He will like it and get used to the idea that shit belongs in the shit pot :)
3. Don't worry about this, it will be sorted by the time he is three.
4. No idea, sorry ! Just telling him repeatedly?
mama mia : He sits on potty but not in the mornings :)
Pixie : Thanks :)
AM : Thanks , how are you doing ..I miss you :(
BM : Thanks , yeah parenting is tough and different all the time :)
K3 : Thanks ..you are lucky with walking
pGupta : Thanks , is it something with the year they are born in..why are they so aggressive :(
Soliatre : I know I know ..but you knwo the phycology of moms as well ...right..worrying is a part of parenthood :)
PG : I am trying all that you told ...just that I am an impatient person :) Stroller is ok , but then you know that all the places dont have the space for strollers here :(
WIAN : Yeah Time is the matra i guess :)
Poppins : What's and Umbrella stroller ? Potty Training,He sits , its about forming the MORNING habit.
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