Finding a Day Care ????

The Process is going on and on and on...We do not belong to Bangalore but then nobody does really belong to a Metro. Whats more problemtic is , we hardly have company of people of our age group. So here I am searching for a day care for my little one even before he was born.
But I still stand no where.Now he is about 10 months old and in another 2 months we have to put him in a daycare. If only anyone could tell me , where do I lack effort :

1. I asked all friends and relatives in Bangalore , with and without kids.
2. I asked all of collegues,even the bachelors.
3. I read all the classified , message boards and sources available on internet.
4. I posted ads whereever possible.
5. I called Just dial several times.
6. I called all preschools to ask if by any chance they run a day care too.
7. I visited day cares in various localities , so that if any one suits my needs , I may even shift my house.

But nothing worked till date. Could all the women out there tell me ..HOW DO YOU MANAGE TO WORK !!!!!!

Good mothering makes you a good mother

I Read the following here :After I had kids I realized that it doesn’t matter if you stay home, if you work full or part time, if your kids are homeschooled, public-schooled, in daycare, or not. Those are all variables. They are not reliable indicators of a good upbringing.

The best indicator is how you parent.

Spending all day with your kids, staying home, that doesn’t make you a good mother. Practicing good mothering makes you a good mother

Managing time for ME ..Just ME !!

Yesterday I read a post on someone's blog titled "Do Clothes Make the Mom? By Stacy Canzonieri". Though I lost the link to the post , it made me wonder so many different things.

I am a mom of a 10 months baby and if I look at myself ,yes I have not been to parlour for last 3 months , mind it not even for eyebrows. But should I blame that to my baby ..I guess no. If you dress up nicely or not , depends on your interest and also how well you can manage time.Before being a mom too , sometimes I was lazy to go to parlour and visited only when I could no longer look at my own face :D

I guess the problem with me is something else.When life becomes monotonous , I loose interest in everything. Everything as in everything..be it getting ready or whatever.Faced the smiliar situation in pregnancy too.So what do I do ..sometimes I did nothing and waited for things to change. But perhaps now I cannot do the same.As I know life is not going to change in near future. My job is monotonous , but I have decided to stick here for its easy going and I dont have to spend weekends and evenings at work and I can get ample time for my little one. At home , ofcourse things will be same , getting ready , coming to office , back home , play with my son ,take care of him and then off to bed.Ofcourse I enjoy spending time with my family in evenings and thats the best part of my day.So how should I cope up with my monotonous schedule and find something that can make me happier.

One, I think, I will have to learn to manage my time better so that I can find time to do something more than the routine work and keep myself alive.

Two, When I was pregnant I discovered that I love interacting with strangers with similiar interest. So I found so many pregnant friends and they are still with me.Reading mails from them is an important and refreshing part of my day.

Three, I started writing this blog.I realized that blogging (reading and writing) is a great way to find people of same interest , to align one's thought,to scratch the rusting brain and to excrete negative energy. So here I am ..finding time out of such a busy schedule for doing something I like. Perhaps I can develop this hobby for better. Or perhaps one day I will find this also monotonous. Thats the reason I decided not to write everyday , but only when I feel a need. But I do spend some time reading blogs , almost everyday.

Four , I found that retail therapy works for me. Going out on weekends ,even if thats for buying veggies from super market makes me feel good. So I guess , next I should refresh my driving skills so that I am not dependent on anyone for some retail therapy .. :D Just me and my little one will roam around the town.

What more , I have thought of making a scrapbook for my baby's first year and gift it to him sometime later, when he is grown up enough, to understand it. Don't really know , if I will live upto it.

And yes , I plan to go to parlour this weekend ! But lets see .."If I find Time" .. :-P

Aryan's Mundan at Tirupati

This weekend we went to tirupati for Aryan's Mundan.We includes both of us and Anupam's parents.When we planned for the trip I was too apprehensive about it because it was 6-7 hours journey and long queue before darshan.We were told that people pour like anything over there. Aryan is small and still on bottle feed.I was not sure how will we manage all.I agreed because everyone insisted.

So we started our journey at 6.15 am on Saturday in our dear car. Just 4 kms from home we realized that we have forgotten something at home and had to drive back.So effectively we started at 7 am.The road was too good but there was some traffic till Kolar. We stopped at Woody's in Kolar for breakfast.It was a okay kind of place with south indian cusine. Food was not too great though but we did not expect better.

After breakfast we resumed our journey. There was too little traffic after Kolar. I and my MIL utilized our time by clicking the rocks on the way and ofcourse playing with our cutiepie, as my husband drove the car along with chatting with his Father.

We reached Tirupati at 11.30 Am which was earlier than what we expected. We were told by some experienced experts in our offices that we will get some wrist bands at Garuda dwar after showing our tickets which will serve as tickets for us further.We could not find the Garuda dwar initially and reached the TTD office. The people there were too ignorant about the wrist bands and they could not understand what we were talking.Finally we were told that they cannot help us with anything and we should go to Garuda dwar. When we reached Garuda dwar , we were sent to a checkpost where the security guard was too lazy to do any checking and we were directed to the way to Tirumala (without any wrist bands ).

The way to Tirumala was very well maintained.Road was good , one way ,well maintained and tidy beyond expectations. It was a smooth ride to Tirumala. In Tirumala we spoke to some policeman (we had a reference for him). The guy sent a constable with us who was supposed to help us find a stay, escort us till we get darshan and help us get the same.

That guy named Naryana took us to Mini Kalyankatta , the place for Mundan.We were told that as the name suggests this is Mini venue for Mundan and the actual Venue is BIG and has 2 hours queue.Aryan was placed in his dadu's lap for mundan. His dadu holded him tight as the blade moved over his head and he cried his heart out. He was moving a lot and so I helped to hold him tight. His crying was making me shaky ,never heard him crying like that and for a moment I decided to cancel his mundan , leaving him half bald :) Well, that was a momentary thought though and mundan was soon completed.The baby was so scared after the event that he clinged to me hard and sobbed for sometime.

After that we went over to find a stay and we got a small room temporarily. The guest house owner promised to get us better rooms or atleast another room after the darshan. Aryan was given bath and we all got ready for the darshan after having some bread and butter for lunch.Naryana was smart enough to break all rules and we were in queue soon. He said that the queue from here will just take 45 mins to temple instead of 6-8 hours (if we had followed the rules). He was right and we could get the darshan within an hour. Standing in front of idol was a great feeling and we all felt a cool breeze.

Aryan was in happy mood by now and had forgotten about the mundan and has had a nap in anupam's lap.While getting out from the temple , he took the liberty of feeling the head of another bald child who walking next to anupam.The child was scared and then amused as Aryan moved his hand over the child's head twice.

So we were done with the event in 1.5 hours and were back to our guest house (after saying good bye to Mr. Narayana), where we could just get another room of same kinds. The room was not bad though and since it was cool in Tirumala , we did not need AC. All of us slept over for about an hour. After that we went out to a local handicraft shop which was very much like Cauvery Emporium in Bangalore and bought sovenier for the family members. Then began the struggle to get a place in a restraurant to have some dinner. The restraurant , WoodSide , was too crowded and food was real spicy. After dinner we returned to guest house and slept over till 6.00 am next morning.

Sunday we got ready , had good south indian breakfast at Mayura(finally I say good .. :) ) and went for some more sightseeing. We could not find much except some temples with long queues. None of us felt like standing in queue and we decided to start our journey to Bangalore.

Soon we reached Tirupati but forgot the way to Highway and roamed around the town asking for directions.It was tough to find the way as we did not know local language and they did not know English and Hindi.On the way back we stopped over at several 2-3 places to click snaps and buy some clay items. We ate a fruit which looked like Brinjal (and tasted like Litchi which is not sweet). Could not get the name of the fruit though. Clicked some snaps of the fruit's tree also. We had our lunch at Reliance A1 plaza and touched Bangalore at 4.00 pm

As a whole it was a short but memorable trip.

Different Moods !!

Every Mom's battle..

Career or kids..Every Mom's battle..A lot and lot has been debated over the topic and a lot can still be debated and still I am not sure if we can come to a conclusion.The topic is neither new nor is it related to current generation.But its much of a debate for me because here the question is not only "if I should work or I should not" ..but more that "if I should" then how ?

The traditional "if I should or if I should not" debate was always there and I decided that I will try and work as long as I can, for many reasons.

First, I feel working gives me a sense of satisfaction.Being a home maker 24/7 is probably not my cup of tea. I believe that working ladies can also be home maker.Though ofcourse they may not be able to dust the carpets every day , they will still be able to pack lunch for their kids and serve dinner to their husbands.I feel I need some satisfaction at the end of the day which comes when I am working.I feel loving and taking care of your family comes so naturally to any woman that it hardly matters if she works or she does not.

Second, definitely I can bring a better living to my kids. Though their future is secure otherwise also , my little effort will definitely give it an extra push.

Another reason is I have realized that after few years our kid will not need us as much as they need us today. As soon as they go to school they will be busy. In their early teens they will have studies , friends and loads of other activities to keep them busy.They will need their own privacy. So they will no longer want you around 24/7 and you will start feeling empty and lonely with everyone busy in their own worlds.All you will end up will be watching 6-8 daily soaps a day.Plus you will be surprised , shocked and hurt when your 10 year old will come and tell you ,"Mom ..my teacher asked me what does your mom do ? And I said "nothing". Why don't you go to office like Prateek's and Ritesh's moms ?" I have observed that even kids feel a sense of pride in telling that their moms are working.

Though I have decided to work , I still have my set of dilemmas and questions ..like how will I cope up with work pressures and daily chores? How will I manage to be happy and fresh in front of my kids even after a day's work? How will I make them understand that I may need to go to office on coming saturday and we have to postpone a picnic? How will I compete with my male counterparts in office and do justice to my job when I will have a different priority? There are a hundred such questions and I know only time will find answer to these.

Today I need to find answer to another question ..How do I work ?
If your parents are around you , you need not worry about taking care of your kids when you are at work.You can just hire a domestic help and parents can take care the rest. But the problem comes, when you stay in a different city away from parents. In an alien metro, you don't feel comfortable leaving your new born with an unknown maid.Will she sleep when he needs milk or when he is crying ..will she run away locking your kid behind..will your kid learn abusive language from her..are few of the many reasons that prevent me from thinking about leaving my kid with a maid.

The other and only option I am left with is a Day Care/Creche for babies.But to my own surprise I am not able to find any satisfactory kinds even in a place like Bangalore ..where we suppose we have a good percentage of working women compared to other cities in India.Though our parents are most welcome at our place ,I cannot expect them to sacrifice their work and their lives forever for letting me work.I feel guilty about this.If I quit work today and decide to work after 3-5 years when my kids are school going and they can go to an after school day care (where I suppose we have some better options) , then will I be able to find a job. Being in knowledge industry ..I dont think it will be possible. Even if I can (which is next to impossible)..I will be far far behind my couter parts.

With so many women in IT ..I can find many of my friends are struggling with the same BIG question and many of them have chosen to giveup inspite of a strong desire for work.
I am still not sure where will I end up ..probably in a different profession is what comes to my mind ..but then, I will have another set of questions there.

"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."

Pregnancy and Motherhood..

Nanmun's Online World ...my experiences when I was pregnant. The journal written in baby language , say all what I felt each day and what I assumed my baby might be feeling. Nanmun ..is what I named my unseen baby then.Pregnancy and then motherhood ..It has been almost 9 months since Aryan came to this world and another 9 months since I was pregnant.

Pregnancy and motherhood ..has it changed me or my perception to life? I cannot recall since when but ,having a baby was one of my most cherished dream.It may sound silly or funny but before I dreamt of my husband ,I started dreaming of a baby. I guess it started when I was watching a movie in teenage and I saw how the herione longed for a baby and how she cherished having one after a long wait. Somehow that scene left an impression somewhere deep inside and I felt that carrying a baby in your womb and bringing it to life would be the most wonderful experience one can have.Today I can say , it indeed is !!
Plus ,it a test of your limits and to some extent your partner's too.

Could you ever think , waiting for 9 months to see someone, just once ,when you know that the person you are waiting for , is right inside your body.. :D Could you ever think you can survive 16 hours of intolerable pain alone in a small cabin ? Could you ever think that you would be totally blank when your most cherished moment will finally arrive ? That You won't know how are you supposed to react ? Could you ever think that you would be nursing a life 2 hours after it was born without your own realization ? You would be changing those dirty diapers , without feeling ugh... for a single moment ? You would survive through those sleepless nights and run your job in office ?

Could you ever imagine, your husband waking up at midnight to fetch you some bread and butter,when you are suddenly hungry ? Could you imagine him packing your lunch and snacks for office and servig you tea in bed every morning? Could you imagine him laughing and trying to make you laugh , when you are shouting and crying for no reason ? Could you imagine him calm , when after all that he does ,you suddenly tell him that you feel he doesn't love you anymore?

I could not ..I wondered if I would survive my labour ..and I wondered how the other women successfully did ..But to my own surprise I came out in flying colours.I found my self quite calm and confident on the D day. I found that I can tolerate the intolerable.I discovered that praying to God and believing in God gives you confidence in most difficult times too. I also discovered that even my dear husband has lot of hidden strength.He could escort me during the birth and I found that just his presence mean a lot to me.

Our little wonder changed our lives. The 'then' care free husband and wife became parents ...if was scary ..so many reponsilities....Its still scary to some extent.We are now responsible of shaping a life.His smile makes my day..he can make me smile at midnight , he can make me forget my pain , he can make us feel fresh after a 12 hours hectic day.He is our little magician.

He has given me a new set of imaginations and a new set of dreams.Now I dream of his walking , talking ,growing ,learning. Now I dream of giving him a BIG smile every single day of my life and retaining it all day long.
I dream of his beautiful tomorrow.

Yes I miss..I would lie if I say I don't miss the honey moon period of my married life.It was so much fun..no worries , no responsibilities , no schedules...just the two of us.

I miss that...but then I do miss my childhood, I do miss my college days, I do miss staying with my parents under their love and care..so what's big deal.Life is about moving ahead.