Pregnancy and Motherhood..

Nanmun's Online World ...my experiences when I was pregnant. The journal written in baby language , say all what I felt each day and what I assumed my baby might be feeling. Nanmun ..is what I named my unseen baby then.Pregnancy and then motherhood ..It has been almost 9 months since Aryan came to this world and another 9 months since I was pregnant.

Pregnancy and motherhood ..has it changed me or my perception to life? I cannot recall since when but ,having a baby was one of my most cherished dream.It may sound silly or funny but before I dreamt of my husband ,I started dreaming of a baby. I guess it started when I was watching a movie in teenage and I saw how the herione longed for a baby and how she cherished having one after a long wait. Somehow that scene left an impression somewhere deep inside and I felt that carrying a baby in your womb and bringing it to life would be the most wonderful experience one can have.Today I can say , it indeed is !!
Plus ,it a test of your limits and to some extent your partner's too.

Could you ever think , waiting for 9 months to see someone, just once ,when you know that the person you are waiting for , is right inside your body.. :D Could you ever think you can survive 16 hours of intolerable pain alone in a small cabin ? Could you ever think that you would be totally blank when your most cherished moment will finally arrive ? That You won't know how are you supposed to react ? Could you ever think that you would be nursing a life 2 hours after it was born without your own realization ? You would be changing those dirty diapers , without feeling ugh... for a single moment ? You would survive through those sleepless nights and run your job in office ?

Could you ever imagine, your husband waking up at midnight to fetch you some bread and butter,when you are suddenly hungry ? Could you imagine him packing your lunch and snacks for office and servig you tea in bed every morning? Could you imagine him laughing and trying to make you laugh , when you are shouting and crying for no reason ? Could you imagine him calm , when after all that he does ,you suddenly tell him that you feel he doesn't love you anymore?

I could not ..I wondered if I would survive my labour ..and I wondered how the other women successfully did ..But to my own surprise I came out in flying colours.I found my self quite calm and confident on the D day. I found that I can tolerate the intolerable.I discovered that praying to God and believing in God gives you confidence in most difficult times too. I also discovered that even my dear husband has lot of hidden strength.He could escort me during the birth and I found that just his presence mean a lot to me.

Our little wonder changed our lives. The 'then' care free husband and wife became parents ...if was scary ..so many reponsilities....Its still scary to some extent.We are now responsible of shaping a life.His smile makes my day..he can make me smile at midnight , he can make me forget my pain , he can make us feel fresh after a 12 hours hectic day.He is our little magician.

He has given me a new set of imaginations and a new set of dreams.Now I dream of his walking , talking ,growing ,learning. Now I dream of giving him a BIG smile every single day of my life and retaining it all day long.
I dream of his beautiful tomorrow.

Yes I miss..I would lie if I say I don't miss the honey moon period of my married life.It was so much fun..no worries , no responsibilities , no schedules...just the two of us.

I miss that...but then I do miss my childhood, I do miss my college days, I do miss staying with my parents under their love and care..so what's big deal.Life is about moving ahead.